maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
nutella sex= disaster
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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