Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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