He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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