so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
