Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
