She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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