it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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