i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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