I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
