im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
