What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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