I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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