It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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