Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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