If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
