My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
