His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
