just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
