New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
