Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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