When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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