I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
