in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
