forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Randomize
