i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
