sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i came on her dog
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Randomize
