i was born a porn star she said
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize