the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
