I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
