you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
