The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
