i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
