i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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