I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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