He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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