the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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