so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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