Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
