I don't usually arrange sex via text message
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
