she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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