Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
