So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
