We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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