So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
