if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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