I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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