They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
