My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
