Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
