she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
